2008-03-07
just call me Johnette Deere ....
So Lorster suggested my next entry be about ways to cultivate the light in my life. Since I’m a Midwestern girl, there’s one thing I know about, and that’s farming. Alright, so I don’t know shit about farming. We don’t tip cows around here either, fyi! Not that we don’t have cows around to tip.
Part of having a positive attitude is keeping it. For me that’s always been the hard part, maintaining it! Gung ho at 7 am, dejected by 3 pm. That’s the way it has gone in the past. But now I’m saying “that was the past, it didn’t work, let’s try something new!”
I even say it in my head like a perky blonde cheerleader. I must monitor that part of the situation so that I don’t end up hitting myself in the skull repeatedly with a hammer trying to get Ms. Perky to shut the fuck up thank you very much.
Let’s just summarize the past as saying I have proven that beating myself up like a cheap S&M whore hasn’t done much for me. We won’t bother with what it has done to me, because what is done is done and that was last time.
So exactly how do I cultivate this new harvest of healthy?
1) I am going to focus on the healthy because that is my goal.
2) I am going to stop myself when I think towards acting on distructive behavior and re-route my direction.
3) When I want to act inappropriately towards myself, after stopping myself I will first praise being able to stop, then I will rework my inner dialogue.
4) I will go each time to the gym looking forward to seeing what I can do instead of comparing myself to others or even past days of my own. For example, instead of looking at my time for a mile and thinking “geeze, how the fuck did you ever do that in 21:32?? Damn, it’s taking you a half hour!” I’m going to say “woo hoo, even feeling sluggish today I did a half hour!”
5) I will look for new recipes and keep healthy alternatives in the house.
6) I will remember that fast food is not my friend. I’ve never used it as a reward, only a punishment. If I had all the money back that I’ve spent on “Bad K food” I’d be wealthy.
7) I will celebrate progress in any way that I can measure it. Instead of using my creative skills to justify my negative behavior, I’ll use it to notice life changes.
8) I will not measure my outcomes in terms of success or failure, rather by effort involved and the abilities of the day. Some days an hour at the gym flies by. Some days 30 minutes feels like slogging through mud. Aren’t both brilliantly wonderful in their own ways?
9) I will remember to reach out for support when I need it. Meh fine is not an acceptable answer.
10) I will help others through the same journey if I can. I will also help myself just like I’d help a friend.
Alrighty then, the crop is planted. Now it’s about taking care of the seeds, nourishing the sprouts, and working towards harvest time.
Hmm… any wonder I’m singing the GreenAcres theme in my head now?