2008-03-04
meanwhile, on my own little planet ....
So why? Why all the changes? For starters I'm working on my own negativity. While I was really in the mood to find something a little more dark and twisted, I kept finding these templates of teenage angst or based on anime that scares me. Neither are a good choice for someone who is *ahem* pushing 40.
This was a big part of the discussion yesterday with my gyno. Mostly her making fun of me because next year I get a present when I have my annual!
I get a mammogram!
How freaking lucky am I? (Seriously, skip telling me!)
When she said this I looked down to my sad little unimpressive chest and back at her. She started laughing and informed that no matter how big or little they are, all boobs squish. (I think that would be a charming name for an all girl band by the way …)
As I glossed over yesterday, she mentioned me having one of those surgeries where they try to trick you into thinking you are going to eat right because goddammit your innards are now a smaller holding tank.
Yeah, I’ve seen that go well in my life now haven’t I? I politely informed her that I have now been witness to the fact that unless you want to have control of your eating, you won’t. Period. A band, a stomach the size of a ping pong ball, and all the other things won’t work if you figure out how to outsmart them. Let’s see, I think for the most part that I am the Queen of Rationalizing Bad Behavior, so could I work around WLS? Damn straight I could Skippy!
So then it was “well, you exercise, how’s your diet?”
You mean how much food can I shove in my gullet and how much stays there?
No, I don’t think she meant that. She meant do I eat too much. So we talked calories. 1500. 1500 every day, for the rest of my life.
Crazy bitch doc I saw a few years back said 11 calories for every pound I want to weigh.
Online sites can have me at any where from 1200 to 2700.
Does anyone in the whole free world (hell, even those held captive) have a clue to who holds the truth on this? Screw the meaning of life, I just want a calorie count that I can rely on.
Why yes, that is too much to ask.
Now, I’m heading to the gym.
Bah.