2007-10-25
frustration
Right now, right this very moment, is the time I get really frustrated with all this healthy bullshit and want to give up. Why? Because I’ve worked out the last 6 days in a row at least a half hour, but a few times for almost an hour and watched my calorie intake. I’ve done hours of cardio and a few hours of weight lifting. I’ve gone over my calories a few times, but by minor amounts (plus I gave myself a 100 calorie cushion!)
I have gained 6 pounds!
What the fuck? Did I mention I gained that this week? Since Sunday?
Is it any wonder that people say “fuck this!” and give up?
I’m not giving up; I’m just working on visualizing what is really happening. Last time this happened, I quit. That was when I was doing WaistWatchers, doing everything I was suppose to be doing, weight and measurements going up. Not a good combination for the ol’ noggin to wrap itself around.
Instead of diving head first into a vat of hot fudge (as lovely as that sounds) I’m waiting it out. Wait … weight …. Wait for the weight …
I did test my body fat this morning and it’s dropped over 10% from this summer. That is good right? No, that is amazing. So what is happening?
I’m trying to mentally peel the layers away and visualize what’s it under the skin, the fat, the fat, the fat and the fat. Only I’m trying to keep it unbloody and gory.
Muscle … there has to be muscle in there right? When you take away all the layers, shouldn’t it be my skeleton and endless pieces of strong, healthy, sinewy muscle?
So in time I’m going to be lean and healthy right?
Right?
Dear heavens tell me I’m right there! Even better tell me a story about what is going to happen to me if I continue to do this!
“Even though she was frustrated, Kaire kept up her exercise and nutrition routine and ___ months later she found herself ______________________.”
Inspire me …
Please!