2007-06-06
act fast!
Are you tired of the same old boring crapping? Has taking a shit become routine and uneventful? If taking the kids to the pool just isn’t as special as it used to be, I’ve got the cure for you!
My special recipe will add the surprise and mystery back into shitting! Plus you’ll be awed by the shit you produce! Amaze your friends and family with the sheer quantity of your movements! Why you can ever stun people you don’t know by not flushing a public toilet!
The fun is endless!!!!
Just follow my simple formula and not only will you crap 5 times before 7:15 a.m., but you’ll also have a warm glowing asshole that makes you feel alive! Not to mention these shits will be some of the most prolific ones you’ve had in your life, I guarantee it!
Just follow these easy steps:
1. buy a couple pounds of bing cherries.
2. buy a pound or so of asparagus.
3. eat a bunch of the cherries.
4. eat a half pound of grilled asparagus with just a little steak for dinner.
I’d tell you more but …
7:35, I’ve been up since 5:30, and #6 is coming!
*results may vary, other foods, such as a bunch of grapes around mid-afternoon may add to the special effects!