2007-06-05
she got me again
I swear I have smoke coming out of my ears and have had it since last night. I know I shouldn’t get worked up about this, but damn it, I’m pissed off and sick of it!
My mother, Queen Bitch, is at it again. My aunt passed away last week. She had been very sick and in a nursing home for a few years, plus she had senile dementia. I probably haven’t seen her in 7 or more years. Before that I only saw her now and then any how. I definitely wasn’t close to her by any means. She lived about 40 minutes away and I think I went to her house once in my life when I was little.
Tuesday morning my mother called me asking if I could make copies of her obit, if I could some how find it on the computer. I told her I’d already looked at it and yes, I could do that. She then asked me if I could get the copies to her that night so she could take them to the funeral. I told her I’d give them to her at the visitation we were going to that night for a family friend.
Now just from that wouldn’t you assume that she didn’t expect me to be going to the funeral? Note she didn’t say “can you bring them tomorrow to the funeral …”
At the visitation I told her that I wasn’t going to go to the funeral and my oldest brother had emailed me and said he wasn’t going as well. None of us were all that close to her. I took my funeral day and went for a walk in a park, remembering my aunt in happier, healthier times. She had the greatest laugh. She’d laugh until tears ran down her face. That is how I want to remember her …
Last night I found out that my mother claims I flat out told her I wasn’t coming to the funeral and she is mad because I should have honored the family. She is not mad at my oldest brother. She is not mad at my youngest brother (he lives 3 hours away) and here’s the kicker; she didn’t even tell my middle brother that our aunt had died!
Please tell me how important this could have been if she didn’t even tell my brother!?! Was she more my aunt than theirs????
She made the comment last week at the visitation that I consider her and my father low on my priority list. I so wanted to say “no, I just have such a hard time coming to see you when I know you are just going to criticize and judge.” I didn’t however, because I’m not like that. I’d rather take the public abuse and move on.
To be singled out like this hurts deeply. Seriously, I thought she couldn’t hurt me that badly any more. Sure was wrong about that…