2007-03-09
others deserve them too
Lorster (too lazy to link) requested I update, so here goes it …
It’s been a weird week. Last Friday a co-worker was in a bad car crash, only I didn’t hear about it until I came into work Monday. A truck was in her lane and she swerved off the road to avoid it, but when she came back onto the road she crossed the center line and hit a semi-truck head on. They are going to bring her out of her coma next week and see if she wakes up then access her brain function. Her husband has already been instructed to find long term care for her.
She doesn’t work in my department, so I have more of a passing acquaintance with her. You know, a hello in the hallway, brief interactions at work parties. Still it’s had me messed up all week. It just messes me up to realize that she, for all practical purposes, it gone. The person she was became eliminated with a crushing blow to the forehead. It’s so very sad.
Since I’ve been through my own head on collision, to say this strikes a chord with me would be an understatement. Of course I have gone through the “why did I have the outcome I had when others don’t?” I have this every time someone goes through a collision similar to mine with a worse outcome. Yep, I ended up physically messed up, but I can walk, I can talk, and the me that was there pre-crash still exists. Her family would consider a trade a dream come true …
It wasn’t until this morning that I realized the deeper affect it had on me. I realized that all week I’ve flinched when cars pass me. I’ve even gone pretty much straight home all week after work because I just want to be home …. And safe. Having it happen to someone I know makes it all too real to me that I’m never really safe. Granted none of us are, for me it feels like some kind of monster, lurking, waiting to get me again.
I know time will make me feel better. I do try to focus on all the cars that have gone past me in my life. Only one got me. As many times as I wonder why that one had to get me, I wonder just as much why I got the miracle. I’m not complaining, I’m grateful. It’s just that I feel so saddened that others don’t get a miracle too.